I'll say up front that I don't believe there's a perfect person on this earth, and I'm certainly not one. But my faith shapes my work on more than one front. The first is seeing the people I work with as people, and not just profit or opportunity.
Too often we treat people as a transaction, and I've done this long enough to know it doesn't have to be that way. There have been many times I've prayed with clients about what was going on in their lives, their families, their businesses, when they were overwhelmed or tragedy had struck.
That's a common thing for me, and it's one of the reasons I love building real relationships with the people I serve, so that I can matter to them and they to me, and not just be a check.
What Success Does to a Person
The more successful a business owner gets, the less contact they often have with friends and family. Nobody who talks about getting wealthy talks much about this part: it is isolating and not because they want it to be.
What they can now do, and what they'd like to do, most of their old friends can't. And they also don't want to be envied. And sometimes friends and family start to see you as a paycheck, because you've made more money, so the assumption goes that you should hand it over.
That's a common problem, especially in first-generation wealth. There's an expectation that whatever goes well for you should be passed along. The people who want the money don't want the work and the risk that came with it. They just want the money.
It comes with a real burden, and it can be ruinous if it isn't handled well. It's like the people who win the lottery. Look at the studies, it wrecks the lives of almost everyone who wins. Money that arrives too fast, without any cost to you, tends to become your downfall. So indulging those friends or family who want your money without working for it, is not usually good for them, or you.
To Whom Much Is Given
So part of my work with clients, as we go, is helping them understand that. To whom much is given, much is expected. It's there in the Bible, in the parable of the talents, where the master gives ten to one servant, five to another, and one to the last. The ten and the five both work and double the talents given. The guy given one talent buries his.
He buried it, he said, because he knew the master was harsh and he didn't want to risk losing it. The master calls him a slothful servant: the least you could have done was put it in the bank and earned interest.
It's a physical parable meant to carry a spiritual point. The slothful one didn't know his master, didn't understand what he wanted. The others knew exactly who their master was, took the gifts they were given, and multiplied them. It doesn't mean we work our way into heaven. It means that once we know who the master is, we're meant to be faithful with what he's handed us.
Where the Gifts Came From
When clients get wealthy, my first piece of advice is not to flash the money around. The Bible says pride goes before a fall. When you have success, you have to recognize the Lord gave you that success. He gave you the opportunity, the desire, the capital to start, every piece that made it possible. If you try to take all the credit, you're setting yourself up for a fall.
So I ask them to exercise some humility. They don't always want to hear it. You worked hard, yes. You used what God gave you. But the Lord could just as easily have had you born out in the middle of a country where there is no freedom or opportunity. No chance to even try to build a business and or never have known what it means to be wealthy.
Your first gift was where you were born. The second was who you were born to. The third was your education. The fourth was your opportunities. It goes on and on, and only then did you add your own effort on top of all of it. Just pause and thank God for his grace in your success.
Then there's giving, which I think is best done quietly. The Lord says that when we give, we shouldn't let our right hand know what our left hand is doing. If you give to a hospital or a church or to fund a missionary, and you want your name on the building, then the Lord says that recognition is your reward, and there's nothing else coming. The heavenly reward is the one earned in quiet. That’s the one we should want. It is far more valuable. Recognize true value and invest your life there.
My wife and I raised five kids. They're not perfect, but they all love Jesus and they've all done well on their own. People will ask for my advice, because they see my children. And that, again, is by the grace of God, because they had plenty of reasons to choose otherwise based on me.
It Reverberates Through the Years
When you work with people over years, you end up weighing in on a lot more than the business. The relationships go deeper than that. It's part of why I see exit planning as about more than just selling your business: the transition is as much about the people as it is about the company. It's also why so much of the work circles back to the owner himself, and the job he should actually be doing inside his own business.
When I was younger, over a period of 25 years, I worked with all five generations of one farming family. The first generation were very old; I got their estate planning done, and within a month they had both passed. The next generation; I did his work too but within 2 years of his parents death he also died.
Then I worked with the third generation, whose kids were in early marriage. And I worked with those kids toward the end of the 25 years, planning for their kids. One family, five full generations. That kind of continuity is why I believe a united family is the foundation of a lasting legacy. They worked hard and smart, but they knew who they were and they knew who had given them success.
That's the real impact of the work. You watch it reverberate through the years and you get to see the legacy of those that make the next right choices over and over again. And yet it does all happen, by the grace of God, not by me. I just get to be part of what God is doing in their lives and I love it.
